I have realized over the last 3 years, that I have uttered words that never thought would leave my mouth. I have now decided to make a list of a few of things. I am POSITIVE that I will have to make another list in the future. Anyway....here goes the ones so far.
1. DONT STICK YOUR FINGER IN THE DOGS BUTT!!!
2. NO.....that is chili not poop. We'd never make you eat poop.
3. DO NOT stick your hand in the toilet.
4. Yes, the dog is pooping. Dont touch it. DONT touch it. DONT TOUCH IT!!!!
5. Dont pour your drink on the floor.
6. (in the public bathroom) DONT TOUCH ANYTHING!!!
7. Get your hand out of your butt.
8. DO NOT eat the dog food.
9. Get the rocks out of your mouth.
10. No, I dont want you to watch me go poopy.
11. You can not eat Vaseline.
12. I am not taking you to the hospital for an ant bite. (yes, Dakota asked to go to the hospital)
13. YES....you're sister is poopy and no you can't see it.
14. (shortly after number 13) GET YOUR HAND OUT OF HER DIAPER!!!!!
15. Did you just eat something out of the trash? why? why? why would you do that?
16. OMG ANGELA! He just ate your lipstick!! (we have a picture)
17. Get the underwear off your head.
18. DO NOT EAT THE BOOGER.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Hello Poison Control....it's me again.
My kid Dakota is the most curious little kid, I have ever seen in my life. On top of that, it likes to climb things, tear things apart, etc. Anyway...he is ALWAYS getting into something that says "keep away from children". We even put them up in the top of the cabinets, and he still finds a way. he has actually even moved the ottoman up to the counter so he could get onto the countertop. I swear to everything Holy that if I have to call poison control one more time i am gonna lose it. Let's just see here, if I can remember all of the times.
1. Angela and the kids were taking a nap. While she was sleeping, Dakota woke up and saw the Lysol lemon cleaner spray Angela had left on the top part of the counter. He coudn't reach it, so pushed the ottoman over to the counter and climbed up and got it. He went to Sydney's room and woke her up. He proceeded to clean everything.....INCLUDING HER!! He sprayed her all in the eyes, etc. Angela woke up about the time I was getting home. We had to call Poison Control and take Sydney to the hospital. Fun times.
2. Sydney has some sort of Diaper ointment that the doctor had prescribed. Once day Dakota saw it on the changing table and reached up and got it. yeah...it pretty much ate the whole tube. We had to call Poison Control.
3. We were in Virignia for the holidays. Dakota walked into a room and got ahold of some potpourri oil. He drank the whole bottle. We had to call Poison Control.
4. AND TODAY.....we had gotten Sydney some more ointment for yet another diaper rash(side effect of the ear infection medicine she was taking). SO.....I am in the bathroom and walk out. I see Dakota with what looks like a tube of chapstick. I realized it was the tube of ointment....or at least what was left of it. He had eaten the whole brand new tube. I had to call poison control.
There were another 3 times as well ,but I just dont remember what they were.
Me and Poison Control are on a first name basis now. "hello, it's cliff again. yeah....it's Dakota. yes, I alread did the same thing you told me to do for the last 7 incidents. Yep, same personal info as last time. OK, thanks Jane. Anyway...how's your family? Little Johnny doing well? That's great. Well, Tell Frank we said hi. Speak soon!!".
1. Angela and the kids were taking a nap. While she was sleeping, Dakota woke up and saw the Lysol lemon cleaner spray Angela had left on the top part of the counter. He coudn't reach it, so pushed the ottoman over to the counter and climbed up and got it. He went to Sydney's room and woke her up. He proceeded to clean everything.....INCLUDING HER!! He sprayed her all in the eyes, etc. Angela woke up about the time I was getting home. We had to call Poison Control and take Sydney to the hospital. Fun times.
2. Sydney has some sort of Diaper ointment that the doctor had prescribed. Once day Dakota saw it on the changing table and reached up and got it. yeah...it pretty much ate the whole tube. We had to call Poison Control.
3. We were in Virignia for the holidays. Dakota walked into a room and got ahold of some potpourri oil. He drank the whole bottle. We had to call Poison Control.
4. AND TODAY.....we had gotten Sydney some more ointment for yet another diaper rash(side effect of the ear infection medicine she was taking). SO.....I am in the bathroom and walk out. I see Dakota with what looks like a tube of chapstick. I realized it was the tube of ointment....or at least what was left of it. He had eaten the whole brand new tube. I had to call poison control.
There were another 3 times as well ,but I just dont remember what they were.
Me and Poison Control are on a first name basis now. "hello, it's cliff again. yeah....it's Dakota. yes, I alread did the same thing you told me to do for the last 7 incidents. Yep, same personal info as last time. OK, thanks Jane. Anyway...how's your family? Little Johnny doing well? That's great. Well, Tell Frank we said hi. Speak soon!!".
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