HOLY CRAP!!! Literally!!! The _____ hit the fan!!!

So here's the deal...

The other day, I get a call from Angela saying that Dakota went poopy in the potty for the first time. We were all excited and may have actually high fived when I got home...I am not sure. All afternoon, Dakota was using the potty like a "big boy". The only thing was....Angela told me he didn't go very much during the "poopy" session. Dakota had been wearing underwear all day long though.

Anyway...it was Wed nite and we were getting ready for church. Dakota wanted to wear his underwear to church. We very STUPIDLY let him. Angela and I were in the middle of a clas when we were summoned.

I went into the nursery area and the stench radiating from the area definitely led me to believe I was going to have a problem the likes of which none has ever seen. I grabbed up Dakota who by this point had flies circling around him like Pig Pen from Charlie Brown. I laid my stinky boy down on the changing table and he looked up and said "dada...i lub you". I said " love you too buddy, but you can't go poopy in your underwear anymore". Then the tears started flowing...these tears were his. I had hurt his feelings. I felt horrible and tried to console him.

I got his jeans off and saw the underwear...and the tears started flowing. These were mine. There was a mountain of poop in his underwear that can only be compared to Kilimanjaro or Everest. I actually had to physically climb to the top of this poop mountain just to get the underwear off. I reached the top and posted a flag just like all explorers do....because this was definitely uncharted territory. I titled this post "HOLY CRAP"....because it was actually miraculous the amount of crap that was in these underwear.

NOW....when I saw this was a MOUNTAIN of poo....it is NOT an exaggeration. This pile of $#@! was so massive that when I tried to drop it out of the underwear into the toilet it just plopped in...and then wouldn't even flush after I tried several times. I had to get something and shove it down the hole.

The underwear were completely unsalvagable. I didn't even try. I just bagged them up so that the smell wouldn't harm any animals and trashed them. Ain't NO WAY I am going to try to actually clean these things.