Monday, March 30, 2009
He dipped out...
So Dakota camr up to me tonight and said "Hey daddy....Da helicopter dipped out". I said "what did you say?". He just looked back at me and said..."He dipped out". I have NO idea where he heard this "dipped out" thing....but I CRACKED up!!! It is funny to hear a 3 year old say something like that. The other day, he threw the Flava Flav on me with "YEAAAHHHH BOOYYYY!!!!" Another funny thing he said was while we were going for a walk. We saw an Airplane go by and he looked up and said..."DADDY!!! Errpane!!! Rock and ROLL!!!" While he put a fist to the sky. This kid says the funniest things.
Nearly butt naked and locked outta the house...
OK...
NOW...this didnt happen today. BUT...I wanted to put it down while the pissedoffedness I mean....memories are still fresh still fresh in my mind.
For those that don't know, my wife did a surrogate pregnancy for some friends of ours (yes...she is indeed superwoman). Anyway, she had twins last November(about 2 months early), and I was at home for about 2 straight weeks with the kids....still trying to work at the church, run my biz, prepare for Christmas, yada yada yada. And all by myself at the time.
ANYWAY....I learned pretty quick that I had to dress one kid, put them in the car, and then dress the other one. Here is how I learned that lesson. I got Dakota dressed one day, and then went to dress Sydney. While I was dressing her, he went and got some baby formula powder, and poured it on the floor. He then poured his water all over it and rubbed it all over himself. I walked out of the room with Sydney fully dressed and quite honestly was rather proud of myself for having both kids ready early. ABOUT THIS TIME....I looked over and saw that pasty mess that was my son. I put Sydney down and grabbed him up, but it was too late...he was a wreck. While i was holding him and trying to figure out what to do, Sydney got into the same mess. I ended up having to clean the entire kitchen and redress both of them.
ANYWAY....that's how I learned that lesson....now back to the nearly naked thing for which I have titled this post. I got Sydney dressed this time, and was getting ready to take her to the car, but the shoes she needed were actually IN the car. SO...I ran out into the garage in nothing but a pair of jeans. No shirt, no shoes, no nothing else. OH....I really shouild mention at this point that this was the coldest day we had in North Florida this winter and it was about 25 degrees outside. ANYHOO....While I was scavenging through Angela's car to try to find the shoes, I looked back and saw Dakota look out of the door. He smiled and was knew his thought. I said "DAKOTA!!! Don't touch the door!". It was too late...the door slammed shut and then I heard the sickening CLICK!!! The little 2 year old punk had DEADBOLTED me out!!! I was FREEZING!!! I beat on the door for a good 5 minutes before he FINALLY came over and opened the door for me. Only later did I remember that I had TWO spare keys outside. A definite homer simpson D'OH moment for me. Anyway....my mom met me at the chruch to watch the kids that day and little Dakota's life was spared. I learned a valuable lesson that day. Everytime I go outside.....TAKE AN EXTRA SET OF KEYS!!!!
NOW...this didnt happen today. BUT...I wanted to put it down while the pissedoffedness I mean....memories are still fresh still fresh in my mind.
For those that don't know, my wife did a surrogate pregnancy for some friends of ours (yes...she is indeed superwoman). Anyway, she had twins last November(about 2 months early), and I was at home for about 2 straight weeks with the kids....still trying to work at the church, run my biz, prepare for Christmas, yada yada yada. And all by myself at the time.
ANYWAY....I learned pretty quick that I had to dress one kid, put them in the car, and then dress the other one. Here is how I learned that lesson. I got Dakota dressed one day, and then went to dress Sydney. While I was dressing her, he went and got some baby formula powder, and poured it on the floor. He then poured his water all over it and rubbed it all over himself. I walked out of the room with Sydney fully dressed and quite honestly was rather proud of myself for having both kids ready early. ABOUT THIS TIME....I looked over and saw that pasty mess that was my son. I put Sydney down and grabbed him up, but it was too late...he was a wreck. While i was holding him and trying to figure out what to do, Sydney got into the same mess. I ended up having to clean the entire kitchen and redress both of them.
ANYWAY....that's how I learned that lesson....now back to the nearly naked thing for which I have titled this post. I got Sydney dressed this time, and was getting ready to take her to the car, but the shoes she needed were actually IN the car. SO...I ran out into the garage in nothing but a pair of jeans. No shirt, no shoes, no nothing else. OH....I really shouild mention at this point that this was the coldest day we had in North Florida this winter and it was about 25 degrees outside. ANYHOO....While I was scavenging through Angela's car to try to find the shoes, I looked back and saw Dakota look out of the door. He smiled and was knew his thought. I said "DAKOTA!!! Don't touch the door!". It was too late...the door slammed shut and then I heard the sickening CLICK!!! The little 2 year old punk had DEADBOLTED me out!!! I was FREEZING!!! I beat on the door for a good 5 minutes before he FINALLY came over and opened the door for me. Only later did I remember that I had TWO spare keys outside. A definite homer simpson D'OH moment for me. Anyway....my mom met me at the chruch to watch the kids that day and little Dakota's life was spared. I learned a valuable lesson that day. Everytime I go outside.....TAKE AN EXTRA SET OF KEYS!!!!
Saturday, March 28, 2009
The freakin' shoes are BLACK!!!
OK....so Angela and I have this thing going about some shoes that Dakota owns. TO ME.....they look like faded black. TO ANGELA, they look navy blue. She and had made a little bet a while back to make it interesting. We have been asking around, and the results are about 50/50.
TODAY THOUGH.....I put the shoes on Dakota. He said "My blue shoes!". I said..."buddy...these are black". Then I said..."what colour are your shoes?". He said "Bluuuueee". I said..."NO....they are black". He then snapped back..."NO DADA....They not black....they blue....STOP IT DADA!". THAT Little PUNK!!! OBVIOUSLY I started cracking up and knew I couldn't tell Angela that he was on her side. SO....just to make myself feel better, I grabbed a stocking from Christmas that he plays with that is BLOOD red. I said "What colour is this?". Dakota said..."BLUUUEEEE". I said "See...you don't even know what you're talking about! It is red...and the shoes are black". He didn't agree. Just so you guys know though...the shoes are black.
TODAY THOUGH.....I put the shoes on Dakota. He said "My blue shoes!". I said..."buddy...these are black". Then I said..."what colour are your shoes?". He said "Bluuuueee". I said..."NO....they are black". He then snapped back..."NO DADA....They not black....they blue....STOP IT DADA!". THAT Little PUNK!!! OBVIOUSLY I started cracking up and knew I couldn't tell Angela that he was on her side. SO....just to make myself feel better, I grabbed a stocking from Christmas that he plays with that is BLOOD red. I said "What colour is this?". Dakota said..."BLUUUEEEE". I said "See...you don't even know what you're talking about! It is red...and the shoes are black". He didn't agree. Just so you guys know though...the shoes are black.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Enjoying the peace and quiet....
So I am sitting back today folding laundry, and enjoying the peace and quiet....and then it dawned on me.
WAIT A SECOND!!! I HAVE 2 KIDS UNDER 3. WHY IS IT SO QUIET!!!!
I run into Dakota's room to find them sitting on his bed. They had gotten into his PJ/sock/underwear drawer and taken the ENTIRE contents out and strewn it on top of his bed. I didnt even bother folding the crap back up. I just shoved it all in the drawer. I am sure when the drawer is opened later, it wil all pop out "jack in the box" style. I noticed as well that Dakota had gotten into the baby wipes and was "cleanin" his room as he says.
Actually...come to think of it....it is pretty quiet right now.....UH OH!!!!
WAIT A SECOND!!! I HAVE 2 KIDS UNDER 3. WHY IS IT SO QUIET!!!!
I run into Dakota's room to find them sitting on his bed. They had gotten into his PJ/sock/underwear drawer and taken the ENTIRE contents out and strewn it on top of his bed. I didnt even bother folding the crap back up. I just shoved it all in the drawer. I am sure when the drawer is opened later, it wil all pop out "jack in the box" style. I noticed as well that Dakota had gotten into the baby wipes and was "cleanin" his room as he says.
Actually...come to think of it....it is pretty quiet right now.....UH OH!!!!
Not Poopy
I walked into Dakota's room to play with him. I didn't even say anything to him before he looked up at me and said "I'm not poopy". I asked him if he WAS poppy, and he said..."NO.....I NO WANT POOPY". I told him that it didn't matter if he wanted it or not if he was poopy then he was poopy. I checked his diaper. Definitely was of the fecal variety. The kid lied to me!! Can you believe that crap? No pun intended......well...maybe a little pun intended.
Crack for babies
The kids had Apple Jacks today for the first time. One kid would finish eating, and start begging for more Apple Jacks. So as I finished giving them more, the other would finish and ask for more. I made 48 trips back and forth to the table. Finally, Dakota got down from the table and proceeded to run around like a hyena. As he was busy running, Sydney sneaked over to his side of the table and stole his bowl of cereal. He came back and saw it and completely FREAKED!! I then had to get him a NEW bowl of cereal....which he finished. OH...and I had to just give her his other bowlful of cereal too otherwise....well....you know the wrath of a woman scorned thing. They both finished those bowls of cereal, and then Sydney decided it would be fun to dump the bowl of leftover milk out on the table. I swam over to the table and got her down. Now she's a sticky mess.
Dakota began begging for more apple jacks. I gave him another bowl. Sydney saw it and had to have more too. NOW.....Dakota is sitting at the table....eating his apple jacks. I just heard him laughing histerically. I look over and see he is dropping one apple jack at a time on the floor and watching Sydney pick them up and eat them. I am starting to wonder here......WHAT IS IN THIS STUFF!!???
Dakota began begging for more apple jacks. I gave him another bowl. Sydney saw it and had to have more too. NOW.....Dakota is sitting at the table....eating his apple jacks. I just heard him laughing histerically. I look over and see he is dropping one apple jack at a time on the floor and watching Sydney pick them up and eat them. I am starting to wonder here......WHAT IS IN THIS STUFF!!???
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Cheeseburger night
Angela left for a study group around 4:45 today. Dakota started with the "I NEED MOMMY KISS!!!!". He ran around screaming like a banshee for aut 37 minutes and 4 seconds...not that I was counting or anything. I was busy making the cheeseburgers I had been thinking about all day.
I put some food on the table once and Sydney crawled off of her chair. As I was putting her back, her foot hit the plate, and the whole freakin thing fell off onto the floor. That was a lot of fun.
I FINALLY got the burgers made through all the screaming and chaos. Let me just say.....the kids LOVED them!!! They tore them up!! Well...except for the bread, and the lettuce, and the tomato....ummm....oh yeah, and the meat. Come to think of it....they pretty much just took them apart and scraped the cheese off of them with their teeth. I wonder if I should go get them outta bed and give them some dinner.
I put some food on the table once and Sydney crawled off of her chair. As I was putting her back, her foot hit the plate, and the whole freakin thing fell off onto the floor. That was a lot of fun.
I FINALLY got the burgers made through all the screaming and chaos. Let me just say.....the kids LOVED them!!! They tore them up!! Well...except for the bread, and the lettuce, and the tomato....ummm....oh yeah, and the meat. Come to think of it....they pretty much just took them apart and scraped the cheese off of them with their teeth. I wonder if I should go get them outta bed and give them some dinner.
An intro to the blog
My name is cliff millender. I am a dad. I am a music producer/writer (TheUltrasonics.com). I work at my church(ALF). I own an domain name investment business(everydayprofit.com). My wife is in school full-time. At this time I have 2 kids under 3 years old. My boy is Dakota. He is nearly 3. My daughter is Sydney Cheyenne. She is 18 months. My wife is in school fulltime, so I have a LOT of time with the kids...and believe me....there is never a dull moment.
I am a busy BUSY dude. Have you ever written a song, done your business bookkeeping, danced with a 18 month old, and chased a 3 year old with dirty diaper in his hand around, while at the same time vacuuming the floor, while at the same time being sure not to let the headphones fall off because you have a deadline for a song......ALL AT THE SAME TIME?
I HAVE!
In this blog, I am going to chronicle my experiences as a dad who does it all. I am SUPERDAD.
I am a busy BUSY dude. Have you ever written a song, done your business bookkeeping, danced with a 18 month old, and chased a 3 year old with dirty diaper in his hand around, while at the same time vacuuming the floor, while at the same time being sure not to let the headphones fall off because you have a deadline for a song......ALL AT THE SAME TIME?
I HAVE!
In this blog, I am going to chronicle my experiences as a dad who does it all. I am SUPERDAD.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
